Fairy Tales

“I want you to live happily ever after with me, Sophie.”

A fairy tale ending, really, and the prince and princess rode off on a white horse into the sunset, only for her to fall off and break her neck because the wench couldn’t ride the blasted animal in the first place.

Fairy tales were nothing but a pack of lies, all lies, because Sophie was a realist.

In fact, the entire scenario should really go like the following: A happy ending, really. The wizard and hatter’s daughter rode off on his magic flying castle powered by a fire demon into the sunset, only for her to wander too close to the edge and almost kill herself because she has no common sense.

The curse of the eldest was to blame for that. She never thought anything through.

Sophie sighed and slumped in her chair, little bit like Howl after a bad day, before clapping a hand over her eyes and trying not to think about the “fairy tale ending” and wasn’t she entitled to one and stop thinking!

She couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Because if they rode off into the sunset, then didn’t the prince and princess get married and have children and why didn’t fairy tales ever go into those details and argh. “Lies, all lies,” she hissed to no one except the scarlet and gray wall suddenly in front of her.

“Lies, which lies,” the wall questioned before growing arms and settling them on Sophie’s shoulders.

Sophie stopped, her nose buried in the wall that had wrapped itself around her and oh, him. “Welcome back, Howl.”

Green eyes leveled themselves with brown as Howl took it upon himself to figure out just what she was thinking of now.

Sophie was prone to thinking about things and she’d only get upset if she thought about them too long. Like now as he watched her catch her breath because she had not expected him to be doing what he was doing.

Spying the chair over her shoulder, Howl beckoned it with a finger and sat down, bringing Sophie with him. “So tell me, Mrs. Nose, what trouble have you found today?”

She wrestled out of the grip he had on her shoulder only to back away and grab a nearby broom. “Don’t you have a spell for Michael or something?”

“Oh ho ho, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He stood and posed grandiosely before laughing. “Got something else to poke and prod while I’m off with Michael? Sophie, darling, leave the lies up to me while there are still plenty to go around.” A few steps, a whirl, and three snickers later once again found Howl wrapped around a broom-wielding Sophie attempting to smother her in affection.

At least that’s how Calcifer and Michael found them five minutes later as Sophie tried her hardest to beat Howl senseless with an enchanted broom stick.